Family, Friends and Neighbors!
How to love and enjoy those around us most!
Are family and friends one of your core values? Tradition says they should be. But do you ever feel like the “black sheep” of the herd? Sometimes does it seem that you have no friends.? I know the feeling. ALL too well. My experience has been either very “typical” or very “atypical”. I am really not sure. So I now believe, in my “old age”, certain things about people. Family and friends are just the people that are closest to you.
So, therefore, you know them best, and you can be most open to “happy” experiences OR
Naturally, I am NOT a "family and friends" PhD. (Click on this pages various links to consult the experts-One that seems to have a really good handle on all of this stuff is Dr. James Dobson of "Focus on the Family").
I see others in my own social circles that seem to have everything perfectly in order. They seem to have money. They appear to be happy. Their circumstances seem WAY more “normal” than mine! They are generally very compatible with spouses and/or significant others.
So WHY this apparent gap in life situations? Hmm. Good one!
CLICK here for Dr. Dobson!
But if you simply want a “real world” opinion, read on…) Fact is that I am pretty experienced in life. One of the main reasons I felt compelled to write this website is this fact: For whatever reason, be it intelligence, awareness, ESP(kidding) or gift from above, I seem to have extraordinary accuracy in seeing the “truth” in people and situations. How do I know this? “How arrogant” you say? Maybe so. But all I can tell you is that time and time and time again, (when several others and I contemplated such situations about people) my views and projected outcomes turn out to be MORE ACCURATE!
I have, of course made mistakes and done many DUMB things. But overall, this is a true statement. So, for what it’s worth to you, here’s my take on people and life in a nutshell:
People are basically GOOD!—In serious situations, they REALLY DO Care and LOVE!
Hopefully you will have parents, teachers, coaches, role models and peers that you admire. Make sure you emulate their positive example! It’s SO important to do so!
People as a total population have an “average” intelligence/IQ-whatever you like to call it. You are either right in with most folks or somewhere at the higher end. Few people fall far outside the average. But significant IQ differences as well as simple personality or gender variations make for a very “mixed” bag of interests and “perceptions” You simply may not think like the person next to you! Just be comfortable with that fact even though it can be frustrating.
People are generally wrapped up in their OWN lives. It’s not that they don’t care, they DO! But if your concern doesn’t top theirs IN THEIR Minds…guess what? “Boring”.
MOST people’s lives are as crazy as yours! It just seems otherwise because you are not exposed to their details. Some ARE more fortunate. Some also much less! That’s Just the way it is! So count YOUR blessings not THEIRS!
Family is Family is Family. When it comes down to it. It IS the most important thing in the world! Ironic, I know, but my parental family has “driven” me into “black sheep” status. But if they REALLY need someone—guess who they call FIRST! And I will ALWAYS do what I think is best for any one of them!
Friends. Acquaintances? Tricky one. It’s truly hard to tell who really are you best friends. I have gone thru college with several people that I thought would be in my life somehow forever. Nope! Doesn’t happen that way. I once had a life threatening experience. If, heaven forbid, you find yourself in that situation… THEN you’ll know for sure who really CARES! Also, as I reflect back, there are only maybe 5 or so individuals that I have known, that I truly MISS! I could get in touch and probably should!
Relationships! Oh-BOY! Is there a more frustrating experience? My simple advice:
Just Laugh Out Loud when it falls apart! Especially if your are 30 or Younger! Getting “hurt” or “angry” Only hurts YOU!
(Read Tony Robbins’ Book Unlimited Power-NOW!!!!! if this is you!)
So feeling badly is NOT the smart thing to do! Why? Well—just stop and think? Was there always another one around the corner? Did you eventually feel better? Did you lose YOUR own Life’s ”TIME” over it? Would you throw away money that way? Isn’t that wasteful? But really listen to THIS!
I probably had 30 or so relationships. ALL of them went bad like a rotten stinky potato!
(Did you ever smell a rotten potato?—SSSSTINKS!!!!!) Somewhere along I met many others that I never really became involved with. Some I dated here and there and became
good “friends” but felt no proverbial “fireworks”. Here’s the POINT: One of those “on and off” friends is now MY WIFE! She simply turned out to be the most stable, solid person and friend out of ALL of the others. It sort of happened the same way for her. (Obviously)
Did I mention, I fell “in love” with her AFTER we got married? True! We now have THREE absolutely beautiful children and our immediate family is AWESOME!!
So—Take this away with you! DO NOT FRET OVER RELATIONSHIPS that don’t work out! You either WILL find the “RIGHT one” or you perhaps never will. That’s OK too! A great life doesn’t have to be two people! But keep trying…you’ll find it if you want to!
Children: In my opinion, and I’ve felt this way since I was a child and even more so today: CHILDREN are hands down “the best people” on EARTH! Just LOVE them!
Parents and Other Relatives: My advice? If they make you happy and “enhance” your life, spend LOTS of time with them! I hope this is your situation. If the opposite is true,
simply stand your ground, do not be an “enabler”. Advise them as best you can. Spend limited time together. But always be there if they need you! Sometimes love has to be “tough” to be appropriate.
In summary-- and it really IS this simple when you think about it:
With ALL people, family, friends, relatives, co-workers (treat bosses and subordinates the same!) etc., Be LOVING! Be OPEN, honest and respectful, use the “golden rule”. Be a HIGH INTEGRITY HUMAN BEING!
However, if you do not receive the same (and you need to be aware of the difference),
simply separate from those types. They just haven’t yet learned what it takes to be a
High Integrity Individual yet! This doesn’t mean they are “bad” necessarily. But it is NOT your JOB to FIX them even if they want you too. Try to be a friend and give them your best advice. If they do not show better values. Protect YOURSELF and family from the effects by limiting time spent around them.
The people you spend your time with should be special and make you happy. Love everyone, but you do not have to hurt yourself in the process-that’s a choice!
Yes, I agree, friends and family can help us to be very happy. Just be sure that’s the case!
And that part is entirely up to you.
Count your blessings! Tell yourself it’s OK and just plain SMART to stay HAPPY!
It’s your decision and no one else’s.
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